The Rookies
素人特工
Hong Kong/China, 2019, colour, 2.35:1, 3-D (China only), 111 mins.
Director: Yuan Jinlin 袁锦麟 [Alan Yuen].
Rating: 4/10.
Wannabe action-comedy blockbuster is chaotically written and more embarrassing than funny.
STORY
Hong Kong, Oct 2018. After Mr. X (Keresztes Tamás) steals deadly biological weapon DM85 and its antidote from a secret research island, reclusive billionaire Liam Wonder (David McInnis), aka Iron Fist, arranges to buy it to get his revenge on the world for the unjust death of his girlfriend Angelina Kim. While challenging his rival, Legless Phoenix (Xiao Zhan), in a race to the top of Hong Kong’s tallest building, extreme-sports social-media darling Zhao Feng, aka Wind-Chasing Master (Wang Dalu), accidentally parachutes into the handover meeting arranged by Liam Wonder and is mistaken for Mr. X. He’s rescued by Bruce (Milla Jovovich), leader of independent anti-terrorist group Order of the Phantom Knighthood, who pays him to pose as Liam Wonder in Budapest, where Mr. X currently is. Meanwhile, inept, bipolar Hong Kong Interpol officer Lei Miaoyan (Zhang Rongrong), who’s criticised Zhao Feng on social media under the avatar Flaming Mountain, has also been sent to Budapest by her boss (Lin Xue) to hand over a file on the situation to the local branch of Interpol. Zhao Feng and Lei Miaoyan arrive at the same time: he’s met by techie friend Ding Shan (Xu Weizhou) and his ditzy assistant LV (Liu Meitong), while she’s met by incompetent local agent Beefy (Wen Jiawei). Zhao Feng is told by Bruce, who’s also arrived, that Mr. X wants the Holy Grail, which is held in a villa owned by the Flamini family, in exchange for DM85; so Bruce will arrange the theft in two days’ time during a birthday party for Flamini’s daughter. Bruce also tells Zhao Feng that he’s being followed by Interpol’s Lei Miaoyan. Zhao Feng teams up with Lei Miaoyan and the others to steal the Holy Grail himself but in the chaos Liam Wonder escapes with DM85 and unleashes it on New York. After a rest, the team go after Liam Wonder.
REVIEW
Following his terrific shoot-’em-up Firestorm 风暴 (2013), Hong Kong writer-director Yuan Jinlin 袁锦麟 [Alan Yuen] goes from hero to zero with The Rookies 素人特工, a comedy action-caper that’s everything Firestorm wasn’t. Best known as a writer for action maestro Chen Musheng 陈木胜 [Benny Chan] (New Police Story 新警察故事, 2004; Rob-B-Hood 宝贝计划, 2006; Connected 保持通话, 2008; Shaolin 新少林寺, 2011), Yuan breaks every rule in the scriptwriting book with this chaotically structured, poorly characterised and tragically miscast movie that isn’t even funny enough to be a guilty pleasure. Largely set (for no good reason) in summery Budapest, the city – as beautifully photographed by Hong Kong d.p. Wu Wenzheng 吴文拯 – is the only survivor of the expensive-looking train wreck, which crashed at the Mainland box office with a weedy RMB22 million. (For the record, Firestorm, starring Liu Dehua 刘德华 [Andy Lau] and Mainland actress Yao Chen 姚晨, hawled in RMB315 million.)
Between Firestorm and The Rookies, Yuan wrote hit costume fantasy Monster Hunt 捉妖记 (2015) but even that film’s patchy screenplay glows in comparison with Rookies‘. After a frantic opening that features the theft of a bio-weapon by a Mr. X from a remote island, a reclusive mad billionaire, a self-preening extreme-sports star on top of Hong Kong’s tallest building, a bipolar detective in a loonily-run Interpol office and the genderless head of a private anti-terrorist organisation, the film finally settles down after 25 minutes as the semblance of a plot appears and the relentless visual effects and on-screen graphics take a break. After the extreme-sports star has been hired by the genderless “Bruce” to track down Mr. X and his buyer in the Hungarian capital, he says, “So, you want me to be James Bond?” “Yes,” growls Bruce. Well, at least that’s settled.
In Firestorm – Yuan’s first solo directing stint, after handling the techie segments of Princess-D 想飞 (2002) by Zhang Aijia 张艾嘉 [Sylvia Chang] – Yuan showed a gift for character-driven drama alongside all the ordnance, with the result that, even when the plot went o.t.t. (with the complete destruction of Hong Kong’s Central district), the film still gripped. Rookies seems to deliberately go for broke with a ridiculous plot involving germ warfare and the Holy Grail (don’t ask) on the basis that comedy will carry the day.
Alas, though lead actor Wang Dalu 王大陆, 28 – Taiwan’s equivalent of goofy Mainland comic Ai Lun 艾伦 – is good as the self-confident but hopeless millennial hero, his cheekie-chappie persona isn’t enough to carry a movie of this size. Wang, 28, has a solid track record (Our Times 我的少女时代, 2015; Legend of the Naga Pearls 鲛珠传, 2017; Fall in Love at First Kiss 一吻定情, 2019) but even his rubbery features can’t triumph over desperately unfunny dialogue and a cast that mostly has no gift for comedy. Chief among these is Taiwan-French indie queen Zhang Rongrong 张榕容 [Sandrine Pinna], 32, in her first leading role in a big-budget genre picture as an inept, bipolar Interpol agent; on paper it should be a comic treat but in practice it’s another up-and-down performance by the unschooled actress, who even has her hair dyed purple for the finale.
Though the central joke is meant to be the main cast’s uselessness – as signalled by the Chinese title (“Amateur Agents”) – the younger supporting players (Mainlanders Xu Weizhou 许魏洲, Liu Meitong 刘美彤, Lu Nuo 鲁诺, Xiao Zhan 肖战) are mostly just colourless, while Hong Kong veterans Lin Xue 林雪 [Lam Suet] as the Interpol boss and Zhou Haimei 周海媚 [Kathy Chow] as the lead’s mother are saddled with toe-curlingly poor material. (Zhou, last seen as a grumpy sorceress in The Magic School 捉妖学院, 2019, cameos in just one scene involving an inflatable sex-toy.) Though dominating the poster art, even Ukrainian American action star Milla Jovovich, 43, seems unsure how to play the gender-busting role of Bruce, growling away in gravelly tones but not really being given a chance to milk the comedy. Things aren’t helped by her largely disappearing during the second half.
Editing by Hong Kong’s Chen Zhongming 陈忠明, who’s worked on several action movies including Firestorm, is sharp, and the VFX-aided action sequences by experienced compatriot Dong Wei 董玮 are punchy, if sometimes visually incomprehensible. Actors appear to be doing their own stunts for much of the time, and one sequence, of the hero’s tiny car charging down a roadful of vehicles, is cleverly thought-out. Music by South Korea’s Yi Dong-jun 이동준 | 李东峻 fleetingly references the Bond films but is largely action wallpaper. The ending confidently lays the ground for a sequel – though, given Rookies‘ box-office nosedive, that hardly looks likely.
CREDITS
Presented by New Classics Media (CN), New Classics International Media (HK), Shanghai Taopiaopiao Movie & TV Culture (CN), Huaxia Film Distribution (CN), Emperor Film Production (HK), Pristine Movies (HK). Produced by Pristine Movies (HK).
Script: Yuan Jinlin [Alan Yuen], Xu Lei, Jiang Runzhang. Photography: Wu Wenzheng. Editing: Chen Zhongming, Bai Huiling. Music: Yi Dong-jun. Production design: Liu Shiyun. Art direction: Huang Jinfu (general), Asztalos Adrien (Budapest), Mao Jian (Beijing). Styling: Wang Baoyi. Sound: Chen Zhijian, Guo Xiaoshi, Nopawat Likitwong. Action: Dong Wei, Fan Yizhu. Special effects: Huo Jintang. Visual effects: Shin Dae-yong (4th Creative Party). Animation (for Miaoyan’s Delusion): Lu Weichang.
Cast: Wang Dalu (Zhao Feng/Wind-Chasing Master), Zhang Rongrong [Sandrine Pinna] (Lei Miaoyan/Flaming Mountain), Milla Jovovich (Bruce), Xu Weizhou (Ding Shan), Liu Meitong (Xueli/LV), Lin Xue [Lam Suet] (Cai Yingxiong, HK Interpol superintendant), David McInnis (Liam Wonder/Iron Fist), Lu Nuo (Jia Shimeng), Xiao Zhan (Legless Phoenix), Zhou Haimei [Kathy Chow] (Zhao Feng’s mother), Chen Guokun (Gao Hao), Wen Jiawei (Baoji/Beefy/Burky), Luo Mang (Zhang, Interpol sergeant), Lu Mixue [Michelle Lo] (Interpol sergeant), Pei Kuishan (Zhou Tong), Da Qing (Gao Hao’s assistant), Mészáros Máté (Van Gaal), Keresztes Tamás (Mr. X), Seress Zoltán (Flamini Mikel), Ákos Orosz (Flamini Tamás), Döbrösi Laura (Flamini Amanda), Mekael Turner (Agent Sexy).
Release: Hong Kong, tba; China, 12 Jul 2019.